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Thirty Years Among the Dead by Dr. Carl Wickland

CHAPTER VII Spirits and Suicide

A GREAT NUMBER of unaccountable suicides are due to the obsessing
or possessing influence of earthbound spirits. Some of these spirits are
actuated by a desire to torment their victims; others, who have ended their
physical existence as suicides, find themselves still alive, and, having no
knowledge of a spirit world, labor under the delusion that their self-
destructive attempts have failed and-continue their suicidal efforts.

When these intelligences come in contact with mortal sensitives, they
mistake the physical bodies for their own, and impress the sensitives with
morbid thoughts and instigate them to deeds of self destruction.

The fate of a suicide is invariably one of deepest misery, his rash-act
holding him in the earth sphere until such time as his physical life would
have had a natural ending.

One suicide case which we contacted was the spirit of a woman, Mrs.
X., who had been my Sunday School teacher when I was a boy in Europe,
but of whom Mrs. Wickland had never heard.

This lady had been intelligent and spiritual, an earnest church member,
happily married and the mother of several children. Without any warning,
while apparently happy and contented, she had suddenly hung herself, and
the horrified husband and children could in no way account for the tragedy.

One winter day ten years later, when Mrs. Wickland and I were alone in
our home in Chicago, Mrs. Wickland was unexpectedly controlled by a spirit
who gasped for breath and seemed to be strangling. This spirit, like so many
others, was unconscious of controlling a body not its own, and upon
contacting matter, again experienced its last death struggle.

After much questioning I learned, to my great surprise, that this was the
spirit of my former friend, who had ended her physical life by hanging
herself. She was still bound to the earth sphere and related the indescribable
mental hell she had been in during all those years.

"As soon as I found myself out of my body, I saw at once the cause for
my rash act. Evil spirits, who had been attracted to me by the jealous
thoughts of other persons, were standing near, grinning with devilish
satisfaction at their work.

"They had influenced me to end my life; I had no occasion to

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even think of such folly. An irresistible impulse had suddenly come over me.
I fastened the rope around my neck, and only realized what I had done when
it was too late.

"I would have given the world to have been able to regain possession of
my body. Oh, what horrors of despair and remorse I have gone through! My
home shattered, my husband brokenhearted and discouraged, and my little
ones needing my care!

"They do not know that I come to them and try to comfort them, and I
have seen nothing but gloom and darkness until now."

Comforted and reassured by an explanation of the true spiritual realms,
this spirit was eager to go with the higher intelligences and learn how she
might be of service to her loved ones on earth.

Many years later, when we had with us a patient of strong suicidal
tendencies, this spirit returned to warn her against carrying out her intentions.

EXPERIENCE, NOVEMBER 17,1918
Spirit: MRS. X. Psychic: MRS. WICKLAND

It is a long time since I have been here. I should like to say a few words
to this young lady who is contemplating suicide.

Many years ago I was a happy wife, with two dear children and a very
kind husband. We lived together happily, since we were both of a cheerful
disposition, and because of this there were many jealous thoughts centered
upon us.

I did not know at that time that I was a psychic, because I belonged to
the Baptist Church. I did the very best I could around the home, but
somebody started to upset us. One day, when my husband went to work, I
kissed him goodby and was very happy, but after he was gone, all in a
moment something got hold of me.

I did not know what I was doing. I didn't know a thing. I remember
feeling very strange, as if somebody had taken complete hold of me, and I did
not realize what was taking place.

After awhile everything changed. I saw my husband in terrible mental
agony, and he was crying very bitterly. When things became a little clearer to
me, I saw my body hanging there!

Oh, if you could only realize what a condition I was in! My husband
stood there in the shed, looking at my hanging body; he was crying heart-
brokenly, but I could do nothing to, help him.

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There I stood at his side, wishing with all my power that I could have that
body again, but I could not. There were my two little children weeping for
me, and I could not help them.

I did not know what was the matter until I saw some evil spirits standing
near, laughing at us. They had gotten hold of me and made me kill myself,
because they wanted to break up our happy home.

My husband could never forget the sight of my body hanging in the
shed. My children were small and needed my help, but the responsibility of
raising them was thrown on my husband.It should have been my duty to
have shared that responsibility,

Although I had been influenced to do what I did, for ten long years I
could see nothing before me but what I had done. I could see how much the
children needed me, but I could do nothing for them, and oh, how I suffered!
My poor, poor children!

One day, a very cold day, I felt that I had come to life again; I felt a new
warmth. I did not know where I was, but I felt* that I had come to life. I
found myself talking to Dr. Wickland. He told  me what had happened, and
explained that I was only temporarily controlling Mrs. Wickland, and that
friends would take me to the spirit world.

After this I felt somewhat better, and I thank you for having helped me
to the beautiful condition I have now.

But oh, how I suffered during those ten, long years! All I could see was
my body hanging before me, and the children's need of me. My husband and
children! How they needed my care-but I was powerless to help them.

I want to warn anybody who is thinking of trying to get out of the
physical body.

Do not do it under any circumstances.

You do not know, you cannot realize, what a hell you will find yourself
in. You cannot step into your body again after you once leave it, and you
cannot do your duty to others.

Think of my children always having the thought that their mother
committed suicide! Neither my husband nor children can ever really forgive
me. Even though I was controlled when I did what I did, I have had to suffer.

If you had an understanding of the laws of the spirit side of life, you
would not commit suicide, knowing the results. Overcome any thoughts of
taking your life. Be happy on this earth plane until the time comes for you to
go to the spirit world.

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The ten years that I suffered was the time I should have remained on
earth before passing to the spirit side of life. After my ten years had expired I
should have left my body, for my life would have been lived out, but during
that time I could have given help to my husband and children.

I should not have reached the spirit side of life before my allotted time ,
and my punishment was to constantly see my body hanging before me for
ten years. All that time I could realize that my husband and children were in
great need of my help.

Now I am as happy as I can be until my family is reunited, and I am
doing all I can to help my children.

I want you to send my love to my dear husband. He feels that he is all
alone. I am with him but I can do nothing to comfort him in his loneliness.

Goodbye!

    ---------------

On November 20, 1904, while Mrs. Wickland and I were visiting with
friends in Chicago, a circle had been formed for a psychic demonstration
when Mrs. Wickland heard some one say: "I am in the dark."

She inquired who had made the remark, but no one in the room had
uttered a word; however, the gentleman sitting beside Mrs. Wickland
declared that he too had heard the voice.

A moment later Mrs. Wickland became entranced and fell to the floor,
the spirit clutching at the throat and crying: "Take the rope away! Take the
rope away! I am in the dark. Why did I do it? Oh, why did I do it?"

When the excited spirit had been somewhat quieted, she told us that her
name was Minnie Harmening, that she was a young girl and had lived on a
farm near Palatine. As she was speaking brokenly, between sobs, it was
difficult to distinguish her words, and I understood her to say that she came
from "Palestine," which seemed rather strange.

The spirit was in great grief because she had hung herself, and thought the
body of the psychic was her own, and that the rope was still about her neck.

She said that on October 5th, without any cause or premeditation, she
had been overpowered by a desire to take her life, and when alone had gone
to the barn and hung herself.

"A big man with a black beard made me do it." (Spirit.) "He met me in the
barnyard and hypnotized me, and made me hang myself to a rafter, but I
don't know why I did it.

"My brother John found me and cut me down, and my parents

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were almost beside themselves. But I am not dead. I am at home all the time
and I talk to my mother and father. I try to comfort them and make them
know that I am not dead, but they do not notice me and do not answer me.
My folks all sit around the table crying, and there is my empty chair, but no
one answers me. Why don't they answer me?"

We could not at first convince her that she was expressing herself
through the body of another, but after a lengthy conversation, she was
somewhat enlightened and comforted, and left with spirit friends.

Previous to this incident neither Mrs. Wickland nor I had heard of the
Harmening suicide mystery and we did not know that such a girl had ever
existed.

Several days later, a reporter-from one of the Chicago dailies came to
interview us regarding our research work, and I related our recent experience
with the Harmening girl.

In great surprise he said that he himself had been the reporter on the
Harmening case and that the girl had lived in Palatine, Cook County, Illinois.
The dead body of the girl had been found hanging in her father's barn, but no
one knew of any cause for suicide, although the girl had always been peculiar.

There was a suspicion of murder because the clothes about the chest had
been torn, and the neck badly scratched, leading the authorities to believe
that a crime had been committed and the body hung up to avert suspicion.

On Thanksgiving Day, November 24th, the spirit of Minnie Harmening
came to us again, still grieving because of the suffering of her parents, and the
intolerant attitude assumed toward her family by the villagers and church
members, who considered the family disgraced.

The girl had been a devout member of a German Lutheran Church, but
because she had died a suicide the pastor had refused to allow the funeral
service to be held in the church, nor would the congregation permit the body
to be buried in the consecrated ground of the churchyard.

Minnie said that the funeral service had been held at the home of her
parents, but the minister had considered the viewing of the body such a
sacrilege that he had stepped outside the house while others paid their last
tribute, and this had added still more to the grief of her already distracted
parents. (These statements I found corroborated in the papers afterward.)

I asked the spirit why her clothes had been torn, and she answered: "I
did that myself. The big man (spirit) with the

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beard told me to hang myself, but as soon as I had kicked the box away
from my feet, I felt the rope tightening around my neck and came to my
senses. I clawed at the rope and tried to loosen it, but I only tightened it and
scratched myself.

Fourteen years later the spirit of Minnie Harmening spoke to us again.

EXPERIENCE, OCTOBER 20,1918
Spirit: MINNIE HARMENING. Psychic: MRS. WICKLAND

I want to thank you for all the help you have given me.

When I committed the act which took my life I was only a young girl of
sixteen. I had so much suffering afterwards and was very, very miserable. I
could see my father and mother sitting at the table, crying, and I could not
help them.

When the time came for my body to be buried the minister would not
take it into the church, and would not bury it, because, he said, I had
committed a sin in taking my own life. He also said that I could not be buried
in the graveyard because of my act, and he would not even look at the funeral
as it passed by.

I did not do the deed myself. I was obsessed. It was very hard for my
father and mother and sisters. The minister would not even come into the
room where my body lay, but spoke from another room; he was too holy to
be where the body was. This made it much harder for my parents.

Do not think that by taking your own life you can bury yourself in the
hereafter. I was obsessed when I took my life and did not know what I was
doing, but I am suffering because my father and mother are still mourning for
me. Very often I go to see my poor old mother, and she is very old now.

I am the girl who lived at Palatine. You remember me, don't you ?

The neighbors made it still harder for my folks because they told mother
what a disgrace it was for the family. I feel very badly about the matter.

I want to thank you for the help I received here. It was through you that I
received light and understanding. I am happy in a way, but not real happy,
because I feel the grief my father and mother have.

When I lived I did not understand obsession. After I had hung myself I
saw a man beside me, staring at me. Just when the rope was around my neck
I came to; I tried my best to get

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it off my neck, but I had kicked the box from under myself and my whole
weight was in the rope and I could do nothing. I scratched my body in an
effort to free myself, but it was no use.

If one takes his own life he goes through a bitter experience, and suffers
greatly-yes, suffers greatly.

I thank you very much for the light and understanding I have received,
for it has been a great help to me.

Another experience, illustrating the power exercised over sensitive
mortals by malignant, earthbound spirits, occurred in Chicago.

Mrs. Wickland and I were resting on a bench in Lincoln Park, on July
12th, 1906, when an elderly gentleman seated himself beside us. Mrs.
Wickland at first saw two men on the bench, but upon looking again, noticed
only one.

A conversation ensued which drifted into occultism, and when the
stranger, Mr. F., expressed an interest in psychic phenomena, we invited him
to call at our home.

On the following evening Mr. F. called upon us, and later Mrs. Wickland
became entranced by the spirit of a man who was greatly agitated. He called
Mr. F. by name, saying he was his friend, Mr. B., of Cleveland, who had
been with him in Lincoln Park the previous week, and had had an
appointment to meet him there again on that very day.

Mr. F. was greatly startled by this communication, for his friend had
committed suicide in his club at Cleveland the preceding Sunday.

Mr. B. had lived in Cleveland and had come to Chicago the week before
to close a real estate deal, but before final negotiations were completed, had
returned for a week-end visit to Cleveland.

He was in a cheerful frame of mind when he left his home on Sunday
morning, but after conversing with a group of friends at his club, he had gone
into an adjoining room, placed carbolic acid in his glass of wine and drinking
it, had fallen dead.

Mr. B. had been a man of wealth and position, to all appearances
singularly fortunate and happy, and there seemed no reason for his suicide.

The spirit of Mr. B. was greatly troubled and bewildered, and asked his
friend what was the matter with him.

"I go home to my wife and children, but they do not seem. to see me or
hear me. I have been with you for several days, but you will not talk to me.

What is the matter?"

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Calming the spirit, we finally made him realize that to the world he was
"dead," and after explaining the suicide to him, we asked why he had taken
his life.

"I did not take my life. I went to the club and was talking to my friends,
then I went into another room, but I do not know what happened after
that. The next thing that I remember is that I saw my body lying on the floor
and a man (spirit) watching me and laughing."

After learning more of his condition the spirit urged his friend to write
to his wife and tell her that in reality he was not dead at all.

On the evening of the 16th, Mr. F. called again, when the spirit of Mr. B.
came a second time, still greatly disturbed, and asked his friend why he had
not written to his wife, and urgently begged him to do so.

"I know now that I was influenced to commit suicide by evil spirits who
were opposed to my carrying out that real estate deal. Rather than see my
purpose accomplished they determined to kill me. Please tell my wife the
truth and warn all the world to be wiser."

While the trial of a young man, who was accused of killing a college girl,
Marion Lambert, was in progress in Waukegan, Illinois, the spirit of the
murdered girl was brought to us, on June 17th, 1916, entrancing Mrs.
Wickland.

She was weeping uncontrollably and in such distress that she was at first
unable to speak, then suddenly cried out: "I did it! I did it! Nobody can help
me now. If I only could tell them and make them understand-but they will
not listen. I am in the dark and can see only the past and everything foolish I
have done. Oh, what a foolish girl I was!"

"What is your name?"

"Marion Lambert."

"Where do you think you are?"

"I do not know. I am not acquainted with any one here. (Crying.) They
talk of hell, but that could not be as bad as what I have gone through, just
because of my foolishness. I would like very much to get out of all this trouble.

"I took my own life. I didn't mean to kill myself-I only meant to take
enough cyanide of potassium to scare him.

"And now they blame him for my death! I would so like to do something
to make them understand he is not guilty. Oh, but they will not believe me! I
talk to the different people at the

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court house but they take no notice of me, and will not listen to me.
Everything is so strange, I don't know what to do.

"I was such a foolish girl. Oh, my poor father and mother! I'm half crazy
with trouble and worry. If I could only go to the court house and show them
that I am not dead, but that I am alive"

"Why don't they listen to me? I go to the court house but nobody will
speak to me, and I have spoken to so many people. I am in such agony, I
don't know what to do.

"If I had had more sense I would never have done what I did, but it's no
use saying that now-it is too late. I wish I could be in my body again. I
studied a great deal, but I was so foolish it did me no good, and now I am
suffering. Everything is so dark and I am in such trouble."

The spirit was so hysterical that it was exceedingly difficult to make her
understand that she could best help by keeping away from the court house,
go with kindly intelligences to the spirit world and learn the higher purposes
of life.

In July, 1919, the interest of the American public was centered in a
"murder" case in Los Angeles, in which Harry New was accused of killing his
sweetheart, Freda Lesser.

The tragedy had taken place on July 4th in Topanga Canyon, where
Harry and Freda had driven late in the day. Near the crest a shot was fired
which ended the girl's life, and Harry New was arrested on a charge of
murder. The girl had been expecting motherhood, and this fact was used in
the trial as a motive for the crime. Harry New was convicted of second degree
murder and sentenced to San Quentin for ten years.

During the trial we had an interesting experience which would have thrown 
new light on the case, could it have been accepted as evidence in court.

EXPERIENCE, JANUARY 7,1920
Spirit: FREDA LESSER. Psychic: MRS. WICKLAND

The controlling spirit was crying pathetically, and seemed bewildered.

Doctor What is the matter with you?

Spirit Oh, I feel so bad!

Dr. What seems to be the trouble?

Sp. Lots of trouble.

Dr. Possibly we may be able to help you.

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Sp. That's impossible. Oh, I feel so bad! (Weeping.)

Dr. How long have you been dead?

SP. I am not dead. I am sick and downhearted.

Dr. Why should you be downhearted?

Sp. Because of my own foolishness.

Dr. What have you been doing?

Sp. Lots of things.

Dr. What in particular? Have you been happy?

Sp. Oh, no! I have not been happy. (Wringing hands in anguish.)
I wish, I wish, I wish I had not been so foolish!

Dr. Did something happen to you?

Sp. Yes, everything happened.

Dr. What is your name? Is it John?

Sp. I'm not a man. Oh, all those people! And that big crowd! And
they will not listen when I tell them about it.

Dr. What is your name?

Sp. I feel so bad I can't think. Oh, Harry, Harry! It was not your
fault. What are those people doing with him? He hasn't done
anything; it was my foolishness.

Dr. What did you do?

Sp. I fought with him. I got hold of the revolver and was going to
fool him. He tried to take the revolver away from me, and we both
fought for it. I was only trying to fool him. I go to see him but I don't
know what to do.

Dr. Why did you take the revolver?

Sp. I was only trying to scare him.

Dr. Did you fire the revolver?

Sp. He tried to take the revolver away from me and it exploded. I
feel so bad, and he will not talk to me, and there are all those people
bothering him. He did not do anything. It was all my foolishness. He
was a good fellow, but I fooled him. Where am I now?

Dr. You are in Highland Park, Los Angeles.

Sp. Why did I come here?

Dr. Some good friend brought you here.

Sp. Why, I went to Harry.

Dr. Do you refer to Harry New'?

Sp. Yes, of course I do.

Dr. Did you care for him?

Sp. I care for him more than ever because I cannot get to him. He
did not do it-he did not shoot me. I told him that I would kill myself
and I went and got the revolver. He didn't get it. I got it from his auto
and I had it. I didn't mean to do

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anything. I was just going to frighten him. It was just foolishness,
foolishness, foolishness!

Dr. What is your name?

Sp. Freda-Freda Lesser.

Dr. Do you realize that you have lost your body?

Sp. I don't know anything, except that I go to mother and Harry,
and all over, and no one pays any attention to me. I want to tell them
how things happened, but no one will listen to me, not any one. I am
so distressed, and I don't know why I cannot be heard when I talk. I
am so unhappy.

Dr. The people you refer to do not know that you are there. You
are invisible to them.

Sp. Oh, that poor fellow is suffering for my foolishness! You don't
know what my condition is. No one will listen to what I say, not one.

Dr. They do not know you are there. You are invisible to us; we
cannot see you.

Sp. Why can't you see me? (Crying again and wringing her
hands.) Foolish girl, foolish girl!

Dr. You must try to control yourself. You have been brought
here by kind spirits and allowed to control my wife's body and brain
for a short time. You can only use this body temporarily.

Sp. Why can't you tell those people that it was all my foolishness?

Dr. They would not believe me if I did tell them.

Sp. Tell them what?

Dr. That a spirit came and talked to us. Do you not realize that at
the time the revolver went off, you lost your body?

Sp. I thought I had only hurt myself. Oh, how I suffered! I do not
see how I could be dead, because when you die you never suffer any
more, and I have suffered.

Dr. No one actually dies; only the physical body is lost. Your
suffering was mental.

Sp. But my head hurts so much.

Dr. That is a mental condition also.

Sp. Why can't Harry talk to me?

Dr. He does not know you are there. He cannot see you.

Sp. I go where he is and try to tell them that the whole thing was
caused by my foolishness. Oh, if I could only change things!

I took that revolver and said I was going to kill myself, but I
thought I would only scare him. When he saw I had the revolver I

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he fought with me to get it away. I didn't mean anything-I was only fooling. I
love him and he loves me. He did not know how the revolver came in his
hands. He had it in his auto. I picked it up and hid it in my clothes for a while
and then I told him I was going to kill myself.

Dr. Had you any idea of marrying him?

Sp. Yes, some idea.

Dr. Did you really care for him enough to marry him?

Sp. Yes. We had no quarrel. I was just going to scare him but you know
girls do foolish things sometimes. I wanted to test him, to see if he cared for
me. (Crying.)

Dr. Remember you are using my wife's brain and body, and must try to
calm yourself. Look around and you will find kind spirit friends who will
help you.

Sp. I can never be helped any more, I'm so unhappy.

Dr. When you leave here you will be taken to the spirit world. You have
not yet found it, because you have been so disturbed with your trouble.
Spirit friends are around you, waiting to help you.

Sp. I want to tell those men bow things happened, but they will not
listen to me. They don't seem to hear me, or see me. I go to Harry, and
because he feels me around him sometimes, they think that he is crazy.

Dr. You are a free spirit now, and you must listen to the spirit friends
who are here. They will teach you how to obtain understanding and
overcome your troubles.

Sp. Will they kill Harry for my foolishness?

Dr. I hardly think so.

Sp. Poor fellow, poor fellow! I feel so sorry for him and his mother.
They both cry, and my mother cries. Why did I do such a foolish thing? It
was a piece of folly.

Dr. Now, look around and see if you can see friends who will help you.

Sp. There's a young lady standing there (spirit) and she says that she was
helped here, and she says she brought me here. She says she was in the same
trouble I was, and that she was helped, and is so happy now, and that she
can help me. She says she was just as foolish as I was; she took poison to
scare her fellow, and killed herself.

Dr. Does she tell you her name?

Sp. She says she has been around me, because she does missionary work,
helping to take care of girls in the same trouble as myself.

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Dr. Does she look sorrowful?

Sp. No, she looks happy. She says she goes around and finds
unfortunate girls who are in the same condition she was in when she went to
spirit life. (Crying.)

Dr. Don't allow yourself to become excited. You do not realize what a
privilege you have in being allowed to control a mortal body and obtain
understanding. Many remain in a bewildered condition for years and years.

Sp. The lady standing there says you helped her when she was in the
same trouble I am.

Dr. What washer name?

Sp. She says her name is Marion Lambert. She says she works hard to
help unfortunate girls who are in trouble and do foolish things, and that she
tries to help them to happiness. She says that is her mission and that is why
she brought me here. (Crying.)

Dr. Try to understand that you are using the body of this psychic only
temporarily, and must not misuse it by becoming excited. This girl you see,
came to us some years ago in the same distressed condition that you are in.
Now she tells you that she is happy and doing missionary work.

Sp. Can I ever be happy?

Dr. Of course you can. This is only a temporary trouble you are in. No
one ever "dies"; it is only the physical body which is lost. The spirit cannot die.

Sp. But I never understood that. I never heard anything about spirits before.

Dr. If any one had spoken to you about spirits while you were in earth
life, you would probably have laughed at the idea.

Sp. The lady says she will take care of me; she wants me to rest. I am so
tired. She says that I must go with her, and also that I must thank you for
the opportunity of coming here. Will I have any more of that awful crying?

Dr. No. You will be taught the real lesson of life. Physical life is only
temporary. Every one has troubles of one kind or another, but through
trouble we become wiser.

Sp. (Gazing intently at some spirit, her face brightened; then she shook
her head.) No, no, that cannot be! (Crying.)

Dr. What do you see?

Sp. I was expecting a baby, and a girl has come holding a baby, which
she says belongs to me. Can I have it?

Dr. Certainly you can.

Sp. But I am not worthy. They will look down on me.

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Dr. You are not going to remain on earth.

Sp. I feel much happier than I did when I came. When did the
baby come?

Dr. The baby was freed when you lost your body.

Sp. I don't see how that could happen.

Dr. Many things happen with which you are not familiar You do
not understand the wonderful mystery of life.

Sp. Did I kill the baby, too, when the revolver went off?

Dr. When your body was killed the spirit of the little on was also
liberated. While you are talking through this body we cannot see
you. The real things of life are invisible. Did you ever see music?

Sp. I have heard it. I hear beautiful music now.

Dr. You are beginning to realize the real things of life.

Sp. Another beautiful lady with white hair is here, and she says
she will be my mother for the present, and she will take care of me.
She says she belongs to the Mercy Band.

Dr. The Mercy Band of spirits is trying to bring before the world
the fact that there is no death, and for many years we have been
cooperating with them, helping spirits who are in trouble and
darkness.

Sp. This lady is very beautiful. She is not the one who was here
first, nor the one with the baby. This one says her name is Mrs.
Case.*

Dr. When she was on earth she was greatly interested in this
work.

Sp. The other lady says she will take care of my baby, because
that is her work. She says her name is Abbie Judson, and she takes
care of the waif children. She says she was a Spiritualist when on
earth, and that she wrote. Oh, I feel so sorry for poor Harry! Will he
ever forgive me?

Dr. He knows the circumstances and he will forgive you.

Sp. Please, can I go with these people? Will I cry any more? I have
been crying so much that my eyes hurt me.

Dr. The spirit friends will enlighten you and will teach you life's
lessons, and you will be happy.

A sudden death, undoubtedly attributable to spirit influence, was
that of Olive T.,** well known motion picture actress.

The newspapers reported that Olive T. had committed suicide

*See Chap. 16, Page 440. Spirit: Mrs. Case' "See
Chap. 7. Page 159. Spirit: Olive T.

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one evening, in the early fall of 1920, in Paris, France, and six days
later her chum, Anna D., also ended her life.

Shortly after, the following occurred.

EXPERIENCE, SEPTEMBER 22,1920
Spirit: OLIVE T. Psychic: MRS. WICKLAND

The spirit seemed to be in painful contortions, and was crying wretchedly.

Doctor Who are you, friend? Come, tell us who you are. Tell us
what is troubling you, and why you are crying. You have been
brought here to be helped.

Spirit Oh, look! Look at that!

Dr. What do you see?

Sp. Look there! Oh, look! Isn't that horrible, that face? (Alluding
to an invisible entity.)

Dr. Do you know where you are? You are in California.

Sp. Help me! Oh, help me!

Dr. You must be reasonable.

Sp. Give me something to drink--champagne, give me some
champagne!

Dr. You are now a spirit and will have no further use for
champagne. You have lost your body and are now in California.

Sp. (Writhing, with face distorted, as if in intense pain.) Oh, look!
Help me!

Dr. Try to realize that you have lost your own body and are now
controlling the body of my wife, who is a psychic sensitive.
Intelligent spirits have brought you here that you might be helped.
You can only stay a short time.

Sp. Give me something to drink!

Dr. Who are you? What is your name? We have nothing to drink
and would not give it to you if we had. Try to realize your situation.

Sp. Take me out of this!

Dr. Out of what? Try to be reasonable and the intelligent spirits
can help you and bring you to a better understanding.

Sp. (With intense excitement.) Get some champagne for me!

Dr. You must not act so wildly. Realize that you are now a spirit.
My wife is a psychic intermediary, and allows spirits like yourself to
control her body that they may be helped. Don't you understand that
you are in a strange condition?

Sp. I don't care.

155

Dr. You will not gain anything by acting in this way. Excitement will
only add to your misery.

Sp. (Complaining a great pain.) I want champagne, and I want it quick!

Dr. You won't get any more champagne; that life is past. Your earthly
life is over. Come to a realization of your actual -situation. Intelligent spirits
will help you and bring you to a better condition in the spirit life.

Sp. Give me a cigarette !

Dr. You will not get any more cigarettes. Tell us who you are and what
your situation is. Your only salvation now is to realize your condition; then
you will have understanding and progress in spirit life. Where did you come
from? You cannot satisfy your earthly cravings any longer. Tell us your
troubles. Do you know that you are in Los Angeles, California?

Sp. (Becoming greatly excited and pointing.) Look at that man standing
over there! (Spirit.) He's horrible-horrible! I am so afraid of him! Don't let
him come near me! He looks terrible. Don't let him touch me!

Dr. Listen to us; we are your friends. We understand your condition.
Tell us who you are.

Sp. I cannot tell just now, I am too afraid. Oh! I'm so afraid of that man!
He haunts me; he's with me all the time. What is this place?

Dr. This is a psychic circle where we help spirits that are in darkness
and ignorance. If you will calm yourself and try to be quiet, we shall be able
to help you. Believe what I tell you, then we can help you.

Sp. The man over there is making such horrible faces at me that it
frightens me.

Dr. Try to compose yourself, then our spirit forces can aid you.

Sp. I don't understand you.

Dr. You are a spirit, and the man you see is also a spirit. You have lost
your physical body and now have a spirit body.

Sp. I don't understand you, and I'm so afraid.

Dr. You do not need to fear, just listen. Our spirit forces will help you if
you will be quiet.

Sp. (Suddenly animated at the sight of some invisible.) Oh, Anna! Anna
D.! Where did you come from? She's afraid of that man, too. He is going over
to Anna! Don't let him get her!

Dr. Tell us who you are, then we can help you more easily.

156

Sp. I am Olive T.

Dr. Then you passed out just before Anna D. did. Neither of you
realizes that you have lost your physical body. She also needs help.

Sp. She's not dead.

Dr. She does not realize, any more than you do, that she has
passed out of her physical body.

Sp. Anna, how did you get here?

Dr. You are both spirits, and can stay here only a short time. Do
you not realize that you have passed out of your bodies-that
something strange has taken place? (To Olive T.) You were in Paris,
and now you are in California.

Sp. California! Please tell me who that nice looking lady is
standing over there. (Spirit.)

Dr. Probably she is some spirit who brought you here for help.
Ask her who she is.

Sp. Why, it's Anna H.!*

Dr. She is serving those who are in trouble.

Sp. (Crying.) I can't see any more! What's the matter with me?
Where am I?

Dr. You are in Los Angeles, California.

Sp. Yes, but I'm not with my own folks. Where are they all?

Dr. According to reports, you were in Paris, and had been out one
evening, after which you went to your apartment and committed suicide.

Sp. There's the fellow that made me do that-that man standing
over there, the one who made such horrible faces! (Spirit.)

Dr. He will not be able to bother you any more.

Sp. He says he took me to that place where I was. (Crying.) Why
should he do that? I got so that I could not sleep because of that
fellow; he bothered me all the time.

Dr. You must have been a psychic.

Sp. Don't let him come near me! I have already suffered so much
through him. Nobody knows bow I have suffered. No one
understood my different moods.

Dr. How could they, when they knew nothing about spirits
troubling people? You were obsessed, and very few understand
obsession.

Sp. I feel very sick, but please do not let me die. I want to live.

*See Chap. 12, Pages 285, 289.Spirit: Anna H.

157

Dr. Nobody ever dies; only the physical body is lost. You have lost your 
physical body, and from now on you will begin to live in the spirit world.

Sp. Say, Anna D., why are you here?

Dr. Does she know that she has passed away?

Sp. (Agitated, and weeping anew with fright.) That fellow standing over
there, he is the cause of her death-he says so!

Dr. You are using my wife's brain and body, and you must try to quiet
yourself. Anna H. brought you here for help.

Sp. She doesn't care for me.

Dr. Listen to what she says; be calm and listen. By being quiet you can
be helped. You must have some regard for my wife's nervous system. She
allows spirits like you to control her body, so you must not misuse it. Listen
to what Anna H. says.

Sp. Anna H. says that she is now serving those who are in the dark
because of their foolishness, selfishness and the misuse of money. She is
striving to do her part. (Crying again.) If I had only understood!

Dr. You would not have listened to anything about spirits when you had
your body.

Sp. I don't know what you mean.

Dr. I mean that you have lost your mortal body and are now controlling
my wife's body. We are talking to you but we do not see you.

Sp. Where am I?

Dr. You are in Highland Park, Los Angeles.

Sp. I can't understand things. Anna, Anna DJ How did you come here?
Are you in Paris, too?

Dr. What does she say?

Sp. She says she doesn't know anything, she feels so strange.

Dr. She is also a spirit and does not understand her condition.

Sp. Anna H. brought her here, too. She says that by serving others she
has progressed.

Dr. She controlled this psychic about two years ago.

Sp. She says that she will take care of us both, and that I can get rest and
sleep. I will go with her, and will take Anna D. along with me, because Anna
H. brought us two together. She says Anna D. also needs help.

Dr. You will find many intelligent spirits who will be willing to help you.

Sp. That horrible fellow cannot bother me any more, can he? He scared
both Anna D. and me. We were together so much.

158

Dr. The man you speak of is also a spirit. He will not trouble you any more.

Sp. I got so that I could not sleep, and I felt so badly.

Dr. I presume that the spirit you speak of impressed you to do the
things you did.

Sp. Yes, that is so.

Dr. Now you must go with Anna H.; she and the others will help you.

Sp. She says I can go to sleep and rest. I see so many people and I don't
know who they are. (Spirits.) I am tired and want to rest. I have not had any
rest for years, it seems, but it is only a short time, I suppose. Now I will go
with Anna H. Goodbye!

Shortly after the death of Virginia R., cinema star who died in San
Francisco, the spirit of the girl was brought by Olive T. to our circle to be
awakened, and afterward, Olive T. herself spoke through the psychic.

EXPERIENCE, APRIL 19, 1922
Spirit: OLIVE T. Psychic: MRS. WICKLAND

I felt that. I must come in and thank you for the glory that has been
bestowed upon me since the time I was here last.

During our childhood we should be taught the real lesson of life and made
to understand life in its true sense. Let pictures be shown of the real life. If
they would put on the screen the pictures of the real life, the real
understanding, and teach the people that there is no death, teach them of the
beautiful conditions on the other side of life which are waiting for every one
entitled to them, after they understand the higher life, the world would be different.

I lived in a life of make-believe, and we tried to amuse humanity.

I am sorry for the girls who fall into a life of sport. They think they have
a good time,-yes, for a while. But there is always some little voice-
conscience-that bothers you, no matter how you try to kill it. Oh, if I could
only teach the young girls,-tell them of the folly of such a life!

If I could only teach them to look up to the higher life, and show them
the truth of that life! We should teach people to live for others, not for self.
We should teach the girls the principles of life. One thing that is very detrimental
 to the world is drink and

159

morphine. As conditions are now they are driving the girls and
boys to misery. People condemn without acting, and what do
they gain? They drive the young to the depths, because when
the law forbids things, they want them, and in some way or another 
they get them. They enjoy them more because they are forbidden.

There is also something else. You know, whiskey and the other alcoholic
drinks have a thousand, yes, a million thoughts that go with them. The cranks
concentrate their minds on drink, and condemn it, and when sensitives get it,
they become wild. They become crazy with all the thoughts that are sent
with it . It drives them down and down.

Man should live and learn of God's wonderful manifestations. God is the
Life of All, but man is the devil. I do not mean man alone when I say man,
but I mean humanity.

God gave us a free will, but we misuse it.

People should be taught the true teachings of Christ. They say: "Did not
Christ make wine? And did He not give it to the people?" They do not
understand that it was the Wine of Life. Christ spoke about the spiritual. The
majority of people think he spoke of the material.

Understand God right. Do not let us fear Him. He is not a man sitting on
a throne, but He is the Spirit of All Life. Everything around us is a part of
this Divine Life. Evil has its place just as the good has. If we had no evil we
could not know the good. It is only from the experiences we pass through
that we learn the lessons of life, that we gain wisdom, and I learn of the life
everlasting that lies before us.

My salvation came in the spirit world when I found the truth, because I
had been through misery. After I had gone through the fire of conscience, I
was purified.

I was anxious to find the truth, and after I found it there was no
doubting. I wanted peace and harmony and I was then ready for it. You find
gold after it has gone through the fire of purification. After my soul had gone
through the fire of conscience, I found God within myself, not on the outside.

Find God and be content within yourself. Learn to understand yourself
first before you judge others, then you will not judge. Let us be friends to all,
do good to all, and do good whenever we can. Let us conquer self.

Whenever self rises within you to torment you and tries to make you
give way to anger, and give way to drinking and all kinds of trouble, say to
yourself that you are not angry, and

160

that you will not give way to things. Then, instead of saying anything to
others, get up and turn around, and your anger will be gone, because you will
not say what you wanted to-, and many times, in that way, you will have harmony.

When we are in a state of anger, we say things that afterwards we are
sorry for, and sometimes these things can never be forgotten. So let us
always think, if we feel anger coming over us, that we will not give way to it;
let us turn around and say: "No, I will conquer self, I will look to higher
things, not the lower. I will conquer, and you cannot come in and torment."

I was in that state of anger and it was my death. What did I do? I killed
myself. I did not mean to kill myself, but I did it in a mood of anger. Conquer
self before it is too late. Conquer your anger before it goes too far.

I was swept by anger, and what happened? I killed myself. Then when
I woke up and saw what I had done, I was in anguish. It was through anger-
anger and selfishness.

Let us conquer, and when anger comes in let us say: "Get ,thee behind
me Satan!" Turnaround, and that will shutout any spirit that would take
possession of you. If I had turned around I would not have done what I did.

If I could only tell people of the life they should live, and have them put
pictures on the screen of the true life and teachings of Jesus and the lessons
He taught, and how much good we could all do for humanity, it would turn
many criminals, and they would become good men and *omen.

This is Olive T. Good Night.

      -------------

Mrs. R. was a patient with such strong suicidal inclinations that she was
unable to eat or sleep, constantly scratched the hair from her head and had
wasted away to a mere shadow. She declared that she had killed five hundred
persons and her one thought was to end her own life, and since there seemed
no hope of recovery, she was placed in a sanitarium where she was confined
in a locked room for three years.

After being placed in our care she made several attempts at self-
destruction, but within a few weeks she was freed from a gloomy spirit who
had himself committed suicide, and from that time there was no further
recurrence of the suicidal impulse.

Mrs. R. remained with us for some time, gaining steadily in weight,
strength and health; she became entirely normal and returned to live with her
relatives, taking up all her former occupations.

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EXPERIENCE, FEBRUARY 22, 1919
Spirit: RALPH STEVENSON. Patient: MRS. R
Psychic: MRS. WICKLAND

Doctor Where did you come from?

Spirit I was straggling along and saw a light, so I came in. Dr. Can
you tell us who you are?

Sp. No; I don't know.

Dr. Can't you remember what your name is?

Sp. I can't seem to remember anything. What is the matter with
my head? It hurts me so badly.

Dr. What seems to be the matter with your head?

Sp. It is difficult for me to think. What am I here for? Who are you?

Dr. They call me Dr. Wickland.

Sp. What kind of a doctor are you?

Dr. Medical. What is your name?

Sp. My name? It is strange, but I can't remember my name.

Dr. How long have you been dead?

Sp. Dead, you say? Why, I'm not dead; I wish I were.

Dr. Is life so unpleasant for you?

Sp. Yes, it is. If I am dead, then it is very hard to be dead I have
tried and tried to die, but it seems every single time I come to life
again. Why is it that I cannot die?

Dr. There is no actual death.

Sp. Of course there is.

Dr. How do you know there is such a thing as death?

Sp. I don't know anything. (In great distress.) I want to die! I want
to die! Life is so dark and gloomy. I wish I could die and forget,
forget,-just forget! Why can't I die?

I think sometimes I am dead, then all at once I am alive again. I
want to forget all the trouble and agony that I have. Where shall I go
so that I can die?

Sometimes I get in places (auras) but I am always pushed out in
the dark again, and I go from place to place. I cannot find my home
and I cannot die. What is the matter? Oh, let me forget just for a little
while! Let me be free from my thoughts and this horrible darkness.
Why can't I die?

Dr. You are on the wrong path, friend.

Sp. Then where shall I find the right path?

Dr. Within yourself.

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Sp. There was a time when I believed in a God, and there was a
time when I believed in Heaven and hell, but not any more. It is dark
and gloomy and my conscience accuses me so. Let me forget! I want
to forget, oh, how I want to forget!

Dr. Do you know that you have lost your physical body?

Sp. I do not know anything about it.

Dr. Why are you here?

Sp. I see you people; I don't know any of you, but as I look in
your faces you appear to be good. Will you take me in and give me a
little light and some happiness? I have not seen either for years and years.

Dr. What is causing all your trouble?

Sp. Why is it there is no God? Why does He let me be in this
darkness and gloom? I was once a good boy, but I was--oh, I can't say
it! I must not say it! No, no I must not! (Greatly agitated.)

Dr. Tell us what is on your mind.

Sp. I have done a great wrong; I can never be forgiven. God
would not forgive any one like me,-no, no, no!

Dr. Try to understand your condition; we can help you. You say
you are a man.

Sp. I am a man.

Dr. You are using a woman's body.

Sp. I cannot think how I could have become a woman in my
sorrows and not know it. (Seeing an invisible and becoming wildly
excited.) Don't come here-don't, don't! Go away! Look, look! Look
over there! Go away! I can't stand it!

Dr. What have you done?

Sp. If I should tell you I would be arrested. I cannot stay any
longer; I must go now. I must run away-I must! (The patient,'Mrs. R,
had, a number of times, attempted to run away.) They are coming after
me, and if I stay they will catch me! Let me go! There they are, my accusers!

Dr. Where do you think you are?

Sp. In New York.

Dr. You are far from New York; you are in Los Angeles, California.
What year do you think it is? Do you know it is 1919 ?

Sp. 1919? That can't be.

Dr. What year do you think it is?

Sp. 1902.

Dr. That was seventeen years ago. Can't you realize that You
have lost your physical body? There is no actual death,

163

only transition. Only the physical body is lost. Did you ever study the
problems of life and death?

Sp. No, I never studied anything. I only believed. My name is Ralph,
but I forget my last name. My father is dead.

Dr. No more than you are.

Sp. Of course I am not dead. I wish I were. Will you please take me
away from here and kill me so that I can die? (Mrs. R. had often begged to be
killed.) Oh, here they are coming again! I will not confess! If I do, they will
put me in prison, and I am in trouble enough.

Dr. You are in darkness owing to your ignorance. Confess, and we
will help you.

Sp. I cannot confess. I have tried before, but I could not. My past stands
out right before me.

Dr. From what you say, you have evidently been obsessing people, and
in your effort to kill yourself, you have probably caused others to commit
suicide. Haven't you found yourself in queer circumstances at times?

Sp. I did not try to understand myself. (In alarm.) Oh, Alice! (Spirit.)
No, no! I am afraid! I did not mean to do what I did. No, Alice, don't accuse
me!

Dr. If you will tell us what your trouble is we can help you.

Sp. We told each other that we would die, but we did not die. Alice, why
did you tell me to kill you? Why did you? I killed you first, and then I killed
myself, but I could not die. Oh, Alice, Alice!

Dr. She probably understands conditions better than you do.

Sp. She says: "Ralph, we were foolish." I will tell you, but I know I shall
be arrested when I get through.

Alice and I were engaged to be married, but her parents did not want us
to marry because they thought I was not what I should be. We loved each
other very dearly, so we decided that I should kill her, then kill myself.

I did it, but I never could kill myself, and I guess, as Alice is here, I did
not kill her either. Ever since I tried to kill her, she comes and accuses me.

Alice and I were together, and she said all the time: "Now, kill me! Quick,
quick! Kill me! Go ahead! Do it! Do it!" I hesitated because I loved her, but
she kept on saying: "Do it quick! Do it!" I still hesitated, but Alice said:
"Come, now, do it! Be quick!" I could not, so she said since she could not go
home again, and we could not marry, why not die together.

But she would not do the deed herself. I could not do it

164

either. She kept urging me to kill her, so at last I shut my eyes and shot her,
and then I shot myself before I saw her fall. I saw her lying on the floor and I
tried to run away after I got up, and I ran and ran and ran, and I have been
running and walking ever since, trying to forget, but I cannot.

Sometimes Alice comes to me, but I always say: "No, I am the cause of
your death, so stay away from me." I ran and ran to get away from the police
and everybody else. A while ago I felt I was an old woman, and I could not
get away from being a woman for a long time. I got away, but after a while I
was that old woman again.

Dr. You were obsessing somebody at that time.

Sp. Obsessing? What do you mean by that?

Dr. Did you ever read in the Bible of unclean spirits?

Sp. Yes, I did. But when I was that old woman I wanted to die, and I
could not. I could not get rid of that old woman hanging around me either. I
could not get her away from me. I don't want to be around that old woman
any more. (Excitedly.) Oh, Alice, don't come! When I was with the old
woman there were such sharp sparks like lightning on me. I thought they
would kill me, and I wanted to die. (The patient had often said that she hoped
the electrical treatments would kill her.) They seemed to be like a streak of
lightning, and it struck me, but I did not die.

Dr. , Those sparks were caused by static electricity, which was given to
one of our patients, whom you have evidently been obsessing. She always
talked of dying just as you are doing; you have been controlling her and
ruining her life. The electricity drove you away from her; she will be well, and
you will now be helped.

When you leave here you will go with Alice, who will help you to
understand your condition. You do not yet realize that you have lost your
physical body and that you are still alive. Alice is a spirit, just as you are.
You are an invisible spirit and are controlling my wife's body. Spirit and mind
never die.

Sp. Do you think I shall ever find peace? I should like to have just one
hour of peace.

Dr. You have all eternity before you.

Sp. Will I be forgiven for what I have done?

Dr. Your own confession and sorrow are sufficient. Be patient and
willing to learn and you will be helped.

Sp. There's my mother! (Spirit.) Mother! I am not worthy to be called
your son. I loved you very dearly, but I

165

can't have you come to me now. (Weeping.) Oh, Mother, will you forgive
me? I love you still. Will you take your wayward son and forgive him? Will
you give me happiness for a little while? I have suffered, oh, so much! Please
take me with you, if you can forgive me. My own mother!

Dr. Does your mother answer you?

Sp. Mother says: "My son, my son, a mother's love is stronger than
anything else. I have tried so much, and so many times to come close to you,
but you were always running away."

The first spirit left and the mother then spoke through the psychic.

Spirit: MRS. STEVENSON.

I am now united with my dear son. For a long time I have tried to come
in close touch with him, but could not. Each time that I thought I was going
to reach him, he would run away from me.

He has seen me many times, but was afraid, because he was taught the
false doctrine that when we die we are dead, and that is why people are
afraid of the dead.

We do not die; we simply pass on to the spirit side of life, to a beautiful
condition if we realize the truth., But we must learn much regarding the next
life while we are on earth.

Study your own life and yourself, because, if you do not, you will be
like my dear son. He has been running for years, trying to get away from me
and his sweetheart, and also from every policeman he has seen while in the
earth sphere.

He has been obsessing a lady for some time, and he had to stay in her
magnetic aura because he did not know how to get away. He has been in hell,
not a hell of fire, but a hell of ignorance.

Look into conditions of the next life so that you may be prepared, for
death comes when it is not expected. Be prepared, not by belief, but by
actual knowledge. Find out what is beyond the veil of death. Then, when the
time comes for you to go to the spirit side of life, you will go with open eyes
and know where you are going, and you will not be, like my poor son, an
earthbound spirit.

My poor boy! He is so tired and worried; he is sick men-

tally. I will nurse him and teach him of the life everlasting so
that he can realize the beautiful condition in the spirit world.

Do not merely believe; if you only believe you will stay just where you
are. We must all practice the Golden Rule-to live

166

for others and serve others; then we will attain happiness when
we pass to the spirit side of life.

Thank you for the help you have given my son. A mother's love is
strong, and when you see my boy again he will be better, because all doubt
will be gone. Doubt is a wall; it is a wall we build for ourselves between life
and death, and that doubt can never bring mother and son together.

He ran away from me whenever he saw me, and neither Alice nor I could
come near him. He thought he was alive and that he had not killed himself.
Some time ago he came in contact with a sensitive person, a woman, and has
been obsessing her, but he thought he was in prison.

I thank you all tonight for the help given my son, and may God bless
you for the work you are doing.

Goodbye.

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